“Satanism is no excuse for lack of safety!“
– My party’s Sorcerer, insisting the Demon’s Ride motorcycle she’s buying come with helmet and goggles.
Because some fuckheads think it’s cute to dm me old nudes of myself. And the dumbasses didn’t even think to blur their tumblr usernames. Cute.
“Satanism is no excuse for lack of safety!“
– My party’s Sorcerer, insisting the Demon’s Ride motorcycle she’s buying come with helmet and goggles.
“Who needs Eldritch Blast when you have Eldritch Bonk?”
- Our dragonborn warlock
Alchemist: I'm gonna do some doctoring today.
DM: causing illnesses or curing them?
Alchemist, after a moment of deep thought: curing today.
The reason Canadians are so nice and friendly is because all their hatred and rage has been taken by their geese.
DM: You enter the wizard’s room. Inside there’s a bed, a chest, and a desk
Rogue: I search the chest
DM: Inside you find 50 silver pieces
Fighter: I search under the bed for a copy of Rogues Gone Wild
DM: *sigh* You find the wizard’s porno mag…
Just taking a minute to point out that the delta variant is the proof of evolution ya"ll been looking for.