“Satanism is no excuse for lack of safety!“
– My party’s Sorcerer, insisting the Demon’s Ride motorcycle she’s buying come with helmet and goggles.
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IF I EVER GAVE YOU CONSENT TO HAVE A NUDE OF ME THIS IS ME NOR FORMALLY REVOKING THAT CONSENT FUCK OFF AND SUFFER
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I dusted off tumblr
Because some fuckheads think it’s cute to dm me old nudes of myself. And the dumbasses didn’t even think to blur their tumblr usernames. Cute.
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Safety First
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“Who needs Eldritch Blast when you have Eldritch Bonk?”
- Our dragonborn warlock
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Alchemist: I'm gonna do some doctoring today.
DM: causing illnesses or curing them?
Alchemist, after a moment of deep thought: curing today.
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The reason Canadians are so nice and friendly is because all their hatred and rage has been taken by their geese.
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DM: You enter the wizard’s room. Inside there’s a bed, a chest, and a desk
Rogue: I search the chest
DM: Inside you find 50 silver pieces
Fighter: I search under the bed for a copy of Rogues Gone Wild
DM: *sigh* You find the wizard’s porno mag…
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Just taking a minute to point out that the delta variant is the proof of evolution ya"ll been looking for.